Tempest and Pestilence Copyright John Johns 2009

Oh They’ve got a new religion - and just like those before * If you don’t believe - you won’t receive - no blessings anymore * They called it global warming which they’ve had to rearrange * ‘Cos now they’ve found - we’re cooling down - they call it climate change *

I called the weather hotline to ask - if I took a break * Whether that - I’d need me hat - tomorrow or next week * She said that we can’t tell you that - it’s much too hard to do * But I’ll tell you what - it’ll be too hot - in twenty fifty two *

Chorus: Oh there’ll be Tempest there’ll be pestilence * There’ll be a plague of frogs * They tell us that the weather is going to the dogs * If it’s hot or cold or wet or dry, or if you’re feeling strange * It’s not the beer that makes you queer * It’s all down to climate change *

Me wife says take your shoes off before you comes in doors * We don’t want carbon footprints - all across the floors * Do’s me bit to save the forests now - leaves me papers at the store * ‘Cos this curly light - it’s not so bright - can’t read them anymore *

CHORUS *

Scientists and journalists have found a gravy train * Toe the line and you’ll be just fine - or you’ll never work again * The government said - since sliced bread - it’s the best thing that they’ve seen * They can put up all our taxes and make us go all green *

CHORUS *

So take your banners and your placards - let’s close the airports down * Build great big windmills everywhere - just not my side of town * It’s only me - should go and see - me folks in Montréal * Make all the others stay at homer and go no where at all * CHORUS , *

They said there’d be - no coyotes - now they’re everywhere you look * They said the taps were dripping and the seas would all dry up * So Big Yellow Taxi - or God Bless The Grass * If you come here with your protest songs you can - sing em somewhere else!!!